As we all know that divorce brings you to that stage of life where you logically die even-though if you are physically alive. Or in other words divorce is death of a marital relationship. The impact that the reek of divorce brings along with it undeniably destroys one so badly that s/he might take years to get back on feet.
Earlier what we discussed was the emotional cost of divorce that is incurred in shape of death of love and loss of respect, isolation, stress, restlessness, developmental regression, physical deterioration, low self-esteem, absence of trust, cynicism, anger, bitterness, feelings of inadequacy any many more.
“I want to get separated from my spouse”, “we don’t have compatibility” or “we don’t make a good match” are the frequent phrases that we hear from young married couples today. Well, this group of people has set of mind which tells them that by getting divorced they are putting an END to the marital unhappiness and with divorce they can rid the tyranny, oppression and abuse of the spouse. But literally speaking they are simply replacing a set of problem with another especially in cases where minors are involved. You will find them coming out of divorce entirely different and their life will take a counter-turn.
Relating back to the previous topic, a question arises in our mind that why divorce, breakup, separation and unpleasant marital life are becoming so very common in the present world? Divorces did exist in the past but comparatively at a very small scale. This is so very obvious that children who see their parents getting divorced are growing as a broken generation having several sets of problems which becomes a part of their lives. They are further stained when their parents remarry. And very clearly when abused children grow up in an atmosphere where such treatments have become “no problem” now or more likely to say “fashion”, they will follow the same and will act accordingly when they will get married and thus the cycle continues. This is a very staggering cost that our whole nation is bearing.
We saw that the emotional toll of divorce is itself not less than any big loss but its financial costs are also hideous bringing devastating consequences.
There is growing government dread over soaring divorce costs. In United Kingdom, studies have shown that government provided legal aid alone of £178 million the previous year, out of which just £9.2 billion were spent helping people cope with the aftershocks of freedom. There were other costs that were spent on children care and the estimation was up to the £1.3 billion.
Whereas in the United States, the average divorce cost varies with estimation of $10,000 to 20,000. A recent study has provided an assessment that marriages that end in divorce are very costly to the public; furthermore, it was figured that a single divorce costs the federal governments about $30,000, based on things as the higher use of food stamps and public housing as well as increased bankruptcies and juvenile delinquency. The United States nation’s 10.4 million divorces are estimated to have cost the taxpayers over $30 billion. Drilling down discretely, the cost that the taxpayer are paying off to the government includes child support enforcement cost of $37.7 million, domestic violence programs cost of $9.7 million and child abuse and neglect cost of $113.4 million whereas not including any welfare benefits to mothers who are dependent. If the divorce rates are reduced in any measurable fashion, it will save the taxpayers substantial dollars.
A sociology professor Steven Nock and U. Iowa Law and Economics professor Margaret Brinig were the first ones who studied this subject. They found out that as the divorce costs are too much for an ordinary person, the court proceedings may be stretched for a year or more. They also calculated that $175 billion is spent annually on divorce, mostly on litigation.
Divorce has become a very big and successful business in the United States. According to the information provided by a web- site that is geared toward divorce and remarriage, divorce is a $31 billion-a-year industry with an average cost of about $20,000.
Among many, one of the major reasons that are becoming recognized is the connection between the emotional pain of divorce and its impact on finances. No doubt, Divorce can lead to mental depression and emotional instability. It is studied that the rate of depression is nearly three times higher among divorced men and women than with married couples who have never divorced. When a spouse or both request for divorce, it is not uncommon to see job performance and productivity falls off dramatically between stress, lawyer meetings and time taken to build a new life. This will not be unwise to say that “If you hire a divorce lawyer today, there is a good chance you will hire a bankruptcy lawyer within two or three years.”
Divorce cost, whether emotional or financial, can be reduced substantially and kept under control if a spouse (petitioning for divorce) or both of them acknowledge the complete divorce process, make no haste and have control over their anger because in most of the cases divorce costs are heightened due to the destructive attitudes of the spouse towards the other making the process lengthier in terms of frequent sittings for counseling, consultation and other court proceedings.
The divorce costs can be further reduced financially by; revising your will carefully, taking existing insurance coverage in account, canceling all joint bank accounts (credit cards) and revising retirement assets.
Going not so far away from this miserable world of divorce, there are couples who are managing it out and like them very few are winners. Basically they are ones we should be looking at. The cost in emotional pain and suffering, as well as dollars and cents, can be extreme. The process may also go on for years. Still, by cooperating, understanding each other and learning the rules you both can come out in reasonably good shape.